Resident Evil: Allies of Scottacon
by Otaconcon
Summary: Basically me & my friends on holiday in Raccoon City
1. Outbreak

Just to clarify (and so I don't get sued) Resident Evil me not own. So lets get on with the big creepy voice… 

Resident Evil! Outbrrreak!

Scottacon (aptly named because of his striking resemblance to Dr. Emmerich appearance) sat on the end of the bed swinging his legs and reading a book…of sorts. It was 8:30 in the morning and he should have been asleep. However it seemed the couple next door had different plans – they had been moaning and groaning for hours. Scottacon had had enough.

He banged on the wall and shouted, "get a room!"

"They're in a room," Nellist's girlfriend, Tankini, pointed out from the other side of the room. Realising his mistake Scottacon paused. He considered his next move.

"Shut the fuck up!" Scottacon smirked to himself, "that should do it." At that moment Nellist (known to his friends as Tank) returned from his 'business' in the bathroom.

"God, that took me what, like an hour?" Tank enquired as refastened his belt. Then the highly unnecessary groans started again.

"This shit just got real," Scottacon grumbled as he headed for the door.

"Leave it Scott." Tankini smiled, "let Tank go instead". Scottacon smiled as well.

"Where are those two pricks?" Tank grunted, "I thought we was gonna get pissed at J's Bar?"

"Yeah…" Scottacon considered it. Something wasn't right – those two crackheads would be dying for a few rounds. "I think we'd better go and see…"

Scottacon opened the door just as Big Jake was finishing another of his adverts for his patented 'Downstairs Lipstick™'.

Wondering what the fuck the hurry was about Shroppy asked, "what the fuck is the hurry about?" Tank answered his question with a pop in the ribs. "Good point," Shroppy wheezed.

"Hey Splade, is drinking time?" Jake asked the group. He grabbed his jacket, as it was a cold autumn day in Raccoon City. The others were also dressed warmly, Scottacon in particular with his trademark purple scarf wrapped round the lower part of his face. Tank reached for the doorknob to let Tankini through (mostly so he could look at her ass) but the door began to shake and the group could hear moanings outside.

"What the fuck are they doin?" Jake said to no-one in particular.

To someone in particular (i.e. whoever was outside) Scottacon yelled, "what the fuck _are _you doin?"

The door continued to shake and the thumping got louder…


	2. Wild things

Scottacon wrenched the door open and the pale figure stumbled past him. Everyone stepped aside and the pasty gut kept going. He crashed through the glass doors and off of the balcony. Everyone stared down in horror. Everyone except Shroppy who simply remarked, "what a pisshead!" Behind the group more rotting, pale-skinned people were barging in to the room.

Tank shoulder barged the nearest zombie and sent it flying into the others. With this distraction the others stepped over the corpses and ran down the corridor to the stairs. Blocking their path were three lickers, like inside out people with prominent brains and bastard massive tongues. The lickers snarled at the allies and everyone backed up, not realising more lickers were cutting them off. Fuck.

The glass exploded as the 5 teenagers jumped 2 stories into the courtyard. After inspecting their injuries, the 5 continued to the main entrance/exit. Big Jake gave the order, "we need to find a phone. Got any ideas?" The others shrugged. It was too late to think about that now as lickers were coming down the wall vertically to get them. Jake and tank rushed the doors and they flew open, "come on!" Scottacon paused out in the street and then saw the raging mobs.

"For fuck's sake!" he shouted as the walking corpses closed in on them, "split up!" Tank, Shroppy and Jake headed to the zoo and Scottacon and Tankini headed towards the hospital.

They were catching their breath in one of the wards when a man opened the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I startled you. My name is Hursh, I'm a doctor at this hospital."

"Excuse me Doctor," Scott cut in, "do you know where the exit is?"

Hursh furrowed his brow, "the doors are barricaded but the old sewer runs under the main building…"

"Right, Anna we're outta here!" They ran to the door and Scottacon grabbed Hursh's arm, "come on, Doc!"

After breaking the chain on the main gate, the 3 boys had found their way to the information centre. They were entering the main building when a Raccoon City Cop and an Asian woman in a green jacket ran to the far gate. Strangely enough they were being chased by a zombified elephant. "What the Fuck?"

Hursh unlocked the padlock with a key he had been carrying. They had decided not to take the elevator as the control room was creepy and full of leeches. Scottacon wondered what may have happened if Hursh had activated the elevator…

"There all done!" Hursh announced and they got into the boat and set off. Tankini was carrying a makeshift sword and Scottacon had pilfered some scalpels and a 9mm pistol. Hursh held his wooden 2x4 uneasily. Scottacon knew he had to do something.

"Hey Hursh, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynaecologist?"

"No idea," Hursh replied. Scottacon promptly farted and the three of them laughed heartily. Hursh looked ahead, "woah, stop the boat." They had come to the end of the tunnel and there was ladder heading upwards. A way out?

Tank, Shroppy and Jake got off the tram and surveyed the wreckage blocking their progress.

"First we have to get some stupid emblems and keys and now THIS!"

Tank struck the floor with the butt of his hunting rifle, "motherfucker…" Shroppy wielded his iron pipe and Big Jake was clenching the survival knife he had found. Just then a grate opened up in front of them.

Tank got to his feet, "yeah we can take 'em!" The boys grinned and assumed battle positions. "on three. One, two…


	3. Attack of the dead

The grate opened a fully and a head emerged.

"Three!" Shroppy swung down with his iron pipe only to have it grabbed by a grimy hand sticking out of the grate. Looking down Shroppy saw the bespectacled face of Scottacon. He released his grip on the pipe. Shroppy swung down again and Scottacon grabbed his pipe and threw it away causally. He climbed out of the sewer followed by Tankini and Hursh. Tankini brushed the hair out of her eyes in time to see…

"Look out," she cried as a zombie bit into Tank's shoulder.

"AARGH!" Tank cried in pain, "well fuck my ass and call me a bitch!" Hursh hit the zombie with his 2x4 and Big Jake shoved his knife into its left eye socket. The creature fell to the ground. Tank winced in pain as Tankini helped Hursh dressing the wound. Meanwhile, the others planned their next destination.

"We need somewhere where we can barricade ourselves in," Jake said to the group.

Shroppy had different plans; "we should just get the fuck out of Raccoon!"

"I think I know where we should go." They turned around and Hursh stood up to address them. "Raccoon University. It has radio equipment and a large area where a helicopter could land. Also there are some labs and your friend requires more medical help." Tank grunted in approval.

"It's settled then," Scottacon announced, "we're finally going to University!" Tankini and Jake helped Tank along and they all headed down a dark alley.

"Are you sure it's this way?" Hursh asked Scottacon.

"Positive!" Scottacon replied, "well, positive-ish!" Scootacon rounded the corner and bumped into a familiar face. "Squire Wo-wo!" he exclaimed. In a row behind him (similar to Scottacon's group) were several of his friends.

"Where you heading Wo-wo?"

"We're going to an Umbrella research centre to meet up with 'the Big 8'!" he answered.

"Good luck to you!" Scottacon made a ring below his waist and socked Wo-wo in his arm when he looked at it. The two rows of friends passed each other and the strangely similar characters waved cheerfully to each other. Scottacon, Shroppy, Jake, Tank, Tankini and Hursh went past Wo-wo, Drewbo, Fire-crotch, Immsy, Broady and Will (Shroppy recognised him as one of the staff from J's Bar).

Scottacon and the group hopped nimbly over the 20 garden fences, apart from Tank who needed helping over. No-one was aware of what was lurking in his blood…


	4. Desperate times

Hursh and the 5 teens closed the main door behind them. Shit. The university was huge, how were they going to find…anything at all.

"Well team," Jake announced, "looks like we'll have to…"

"…split up and look for clues!" they all said.

"Close enough," Jake sighed.

"Okay," Scottacon said, "I'll go with…um, Hursh and Big Jake. Everyone else…go that way!" The 2 teams headed to their allocated doors.

Scottacon and Big Jake examined the reagent mixer-thingy on the table in front of them. Apparently someone had already been here. There were 3 containers with different coloured liquids and something had been made using them – a small purplish liquid. The machine was spewing them out at an alarming rate.

"We should take some with us," Hursh said, "they may come in handy you know."

"Yeah," Scottacon replied, "if you say so."

"Get over here and fucking help us!" Shroppy switched off the radio. "That should do it."

"Yeah, let's hope rescuers _somehow_ heard that," Tankini muttered. Tank was staring at something. "What is it?"

"Dunno," Tank replied but there's a clock on it." At the same time Jake also picked up a similar object.

The two men yelled at the same time, "BOMB! Everyone out!"

The group of 6 ran out into the yard into the courtyard in front of the university. They dived behind a car as the university exploded and glass showered over the area. Scottacon looked up, "Did that door just close? Come on let's go!"

"Wait!" shouted Tankini, "look at this." The 6 people read through the documents and by the end they knew all about the t-virus and the cure, daylight.

"Is it me or did Tank get infected when that thing bit him?" Jake asked.

"We're all infected," Tankini replied, "we were here during the outbreak. If only we had some of this daylight stuff.""

"What, this?" Hursh pulled the containers out of his pocket, there were 7 in total.

Tank managed to keep up with the others. He was still wounded but was relieved to know that they were all cured now. They were all curious about the empty rocket launcher they had stumbled across but according to the files they had read, the city was about to destroyed in just a few minutes. The 6 ran up the steps and into the area they hoped to be extracted from. Ahead of them a helicopter was taking off with several people on board. Tank recognised one of them as the Asian woman from the zoo. However the chopper was already taking off and the 'copter was too far away.

Scottacon sprinted forwards and held out his hand, "NOOO! Don't go!"


	5. Bad ending

Scottacon sank to his knees with his arms still outstretched. The helicopter had gone and it was not coming back. However something else was.

Tankini strolled back and forth pat the corpse of Thanatos (the large creature) with her head in her hands. Unfortunately no one had noticed it starting to twitch. Tankini turned to face Tank.

"Sam…" she began. She did not continue. Thanatos had cut short her sentence and her life with his ridiculously long arm, ending in large spikes.

Tank screamed in horror as his girlfriend fell to the ground, "NOOO!" He ran to the beast on the ground as it removed its colossal arm from Tankini. Thanatos was turning over and Tank its massive, tumour-like heart sticking out of its chest. He fired his last hunting rifle round through the tyrant's heart at point blank range and finally killed it. Viscous liquids oozed from the now-dead monster.

Tank closely held the hand of his now dead girlfriend with his eyes closed. Scottacon went up to him and put his hand on Tank's shoulder, "I'm sorry…" Tank's left arm increased size exponentially as he swung round and hit Scottacon square in the chest.

The others looked up as Scottacon went flying overhead and hit the ground behind them with a sickly, wet crunch. Tank was now bent double transforming into a tyrant, similar to the one he had just killed.

Hursh was shocked beyond disbelief as he saw the monster growing right before his eyes. "Daylight, the cure. It didn't work…" Big Jake ran towards the creature that had once been his friend wielding his 2x4. The tyrant swung its arm viciously, breaking the wooden plank into shards and separating Jake's head from his shoulders.

Hursh was on all fours, cusing Umbrella for what they had done as Shroppy swung his pipe against the large zombie. The pipe was now bent too much to use and Shroppy closed his eyes. He was separated at the waist and his upper half hit the floor. His legs crashed down backwards and a large red puddle grew underneath his body parts.

Hursh looked up, and saw the creature was almost on him. Then the nuclear missiles tore through the sky and the tyrant stopped its attack. "It's too late…." Hursh muttered. The missiles streaked towards the city and the horrific creature threw up its arms.

The missiles hit the centre of the city and exploded. Everything was vaporised and the hellfire increased in radius astonishingly quick. Buildings were ripped apart and all life in Raccoon City was wiped out. The giant of an explosion could be seen from miles away as the very last traces of the T-virus were wiped out.


	6. Good ending

The helicopter was gone and it was not coming back. From behind of the university, another helicopter appeared and came into land. The door was slid open by another teenager. Scottacon was in awe, "Claire?"

Claire had opened the chopper door and the survivors headed towards it. Scottacon was closest but he stopped in front of Clazii. "I've had dreams like this…"

"Come on," Claire pulled into Scottacon into the front of the helicopter as the others got into the back. Manning the controls was "Brad Vickers?"

Scottacon looked at Brad, "wait a minute, weren't you killed by the Nemesis?"

Brad shook his head, "nope! Luckily I chickened out at the last second." Brad controlled the helicopter as they flew away from the doomed city.

Leech man (a dead man covered in and controlled by leeches) shook his fist angrily at the helicopter flying away, "I'll get you, Dr Hush!"

Claire turned to the survivors, "as soon as I got your message I asked Brad here to help me out. Its lucky we got here when we did."

The missiles streaked past, "hang on to something!" Brad said to the others.

The missiles hit the centre of the city and exploded. Everything was vaporised and the hellfire increased in radius astonishingly quick. Buildings were ripped apart and all life in Raccoon City was wiped out. The giant of an explosion could be seen from miles away as the very last traces of the T-virus were wiped out. The helicopter shook violently but managed to escape.

Claire had fallen asleep and Scottacon put his arm round her. Maybe this trip hadn't been so bad after all.

In the back of the chopper Tankini lay with her head on Tank's chest. Many people had been killed but at least they had survived to reveal the truth about Umbrella.

Shroppy and Big Jake high-fived. What were they gonna do to relax now? "Damn," Shroppy exclaimed, "we never got pissed!" They both laughed.

Hursh held the last remaining vial of Daylight close to him. "That was the most dangerous disease ever. We must look after and duplicate this sample."

The helicopter flew into the sunrise and the dawning of a new day.

THE END

Which ending is the _real _one? Work it out for yourself.

Leechman and Thanatos are (owned by Capcom) boss characters from Resident Evill: Outbreak. In the game, Leechman kills Hursh. Make sense now?


End file.
